November 20, 2006
I miss her. I feel that sense of loss… even as she was far from anyone I would admire, let alone befriend. Maybe pity. But, good God, she was so clueless and fashionably challenged in the worst way. She spoke with fillers (the habit of 'like' that got pounded out of my brain every night at dinner with my dad)… and she ate at McDonald's. But without her, I feel empty today.
I've been through this so many times. Well not so many… because what really makes it happen is the fact that it doesn't happen EVERY time. There have definitely been some characters and plays that couldn't end quickly enough… that the final performance was more a relief than anything. A learning experience, absolutely. When it ended, it was mercifully over. But there are times… every once in a while… when the parting is a little pained.
It isn't just the character or the play - even as I keep listening to our CD this morning to re-visit some of those moments under the lights. It is also the brief collision of a handful of individuals to create something. Something theatrical… but something memorable. Lots of laughter… but just a comfort and ease with one another that allowed us to perform in this twisted production.
There is always another one. Some up and coming project with which to alleviate this feeling of emptiness. Hell, I am already committed to tech the next one. Not to mention that other big production of the holiday season… oy… real life. Yeah, I guess it's time to re-visit that part of my existence. Bridal showers and all that Christmas hoopla.
But for today… today I will allow myself the frown to feel the sorrow of an end.
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